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How to Do Inner Work and Heal When You're Struggling Under the Weight of Memories

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

You know how people say diamonds are made under pressure? Well, I've always found that a bit too poetic for my taste. But then, life has a funny way of proving you wrong. It showed me, in no uncertain terms, how to do inner work and heal.


I grew up in a small town where everyone knew your business before you did. My childhood, though outwardly ordinary, was a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs. Imagine a quiet, unassuming house where every creak of the floorboards was a whispered secret. That was my home. A place where love and fear coexisted in uneasy silence.


The pressure of living in such an environment was intense. I didn’t realize it back then, but I was being forged, like a diamond, under the weight of these experiences. The process of learning how to do inner work and heal started much later, though. It began when I left home, thinking I could outpace my past. Spoiler alert: you can’t.


College was a blur of new experiences and freedoms, but underneath it all, the old fears and insecurities lurked. I found myself reacting in ways that puzzled even me. Anger, sadness, anxiety – they were all there, like unwelcome guests who wouldn’t leave. It was during one particularly low moment that I realized I needed to learn how to do inner work and heal.


I started therapy, and that’s when the real work began. It wasn’t easy. Digging into your past, facing those ghosts head-on, takes a kind of bravery I didn’t know I had. But here's the thing about doing the hard work of facing your trauma – it empowers you. Each session was a step towards understanding how to do inner work and heal.


The process taught me that healing isn't linear. There are good days and bad days. Sometimes, the pressure seems unbearable, and you feel like you might crack. But, just like those diamonds, it’s under this pressure that we find our strength. The key to learning how to do inner work and heal is recognizing that the pressure isn’t there to break you, but to forge you.


And let me tell you, the journey of how to do inner work and heal is full of surprises. You start to uncover parts of yourself you never knew existed. Like how I discovered a love for painting, a way to express emotions that words couldn’t capture. It was therapeutic, a way to channel all that pressure into something creative and liberating.


Part of learning how to do inner work and heal also meant building a new community. I surrounded myself with people who understood the language of healing. We shared stories, tears, and laughter. It was a revelation to realize I wasn't alone in my journey. There were others, just like me, trying to transform their pressures into diamonds.


As I continued to explore how to do inner work and heal, I also learned the importance of self-care. It wasn't just about bubble baths and spa days. It was about making choices every day that honored my wellbeing. It meant saying no to things that didn’t serve me and yes to things that nourished my soul.

I also learned to forgive. Not just others, but myself. I had been carrying the weight of self-blame for so long that it had become a part of me. Learning how to do inner work and heal involved letting go of this burden, understanding that the past couldn’t be changed, but the future was still mine to shape.


So, how do you manage all this? How do you find the strength to keep going when everything seems too much? Well, for starters, you learn to relax your body. It sounds simple, but it’s amazing how much tension we hold without realizing it. Relaxing your body is like opening a valve to release some of that pressure. Let's dive into some tips that can help you do just that.


How to Do Inner Work and Heal

1. Acknowledging and Accepting Your Trauma 

The first step towards healing is acknowledging that you have experienced trauma and accepting that it has impacted your life. This doesn't mean you have to be okay with what happened, but rather recognizing its existence. For me, this realization came while sitting by a lake, where the external calm made me aware of my internal turmoil, helping me to acknowledge my past.

2. Seek Professional Help

It's important to consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapists, psychologists, and counselors can provide support and guidance. I found this to be true when I nervously attended my first therapy session, which eventually became a cornerstone of my healing process.

3. Self-Reflection and Mindfulness

Practices like meditation, journaling, and mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. I discovered the power of journaling somewhat unexpectedly, as it helped me uncover patterns in my thoughts and behaviors, fostering a deeper understanding of myself.


4. Understanding and Processing Emotions

Trauma can cause a wide range of emotions, including anger, sadness, guilt, and shame. I learned the importance of allowing myself to feel and process these emotions when I found myself crying uncontrollably over a minor incident, revealing deeper underlying issues.

5. Building a Support System

Surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding people can be incredibly beneficial. Joining a support group was a turning point for me; sharing experiences and hearing others' stories helped me feel less isolated in my journey.

6.  Developing Self-Care Practices

Taking care of your physical and emotional needs is crucial. I learned to see self-care as a necessity, not a luxury, and making small changes in my routine significantly improved my overall well-being.


7. Setting Boundaries

Learning to set healthy boundaries with others is an important part of trauma recovery. A personal example of this was when I declined an invitation to an event that I knew would be emotionally taxing, affirming the importance of prioritizing my mental health.

8. Education


 Understanding trauma and its effects can help you make sense of your experiences. Reading a book on trauma gave me insights into my own reactions and patterns, making them more manageable and less intimidating.

9. Creative Expression

Many find solace in expressing their trauma through creative activities. I took up painting, which became a therapeutic outlet for emotions that I couldn't express in words, providing both release and clarity.


Patience and Compassion

Healing from trauma is not linear and can take time. I learned to be patient with myself, treating myself with the same kindness and understanding that I would offer a friend, recognizing that compassion towards oneself is essential for healing.

Each of these steps played a pivotal role in my journey of learning how to do inner work and heal, demonstrating the multifaceted nature of dealing with trauma.


It's important to remember that healing is a journey, not a destination. You don't wake up one day 'healed.' It's a continuous process, with each day bringing its own challenges and victories. And just like diamond formation, it takes time and patience.Here’s a little secret: the pressure never really goes away. But as you learn how to do inner work and heal, you become better at managing it. You learn to see the beauty in your strength and the lessons in your struggles. And just like those diamonds, you shine brighter because of everything you've been through.


So, to you reading this, remember that your past doesn’t define you. It shapes you, molds you, but it doesn’t set your limits. You have the power to learn how to do inner work and heal. You have the strength to turn pressure into something beautiful. And who knows? In the process, you just might discover that you're stronger and more resilient than you ever imagined.Remember, like diamonds, we’re all works in progress, being shaped into something more beautiful than we were before. Keep shining, keep healing, and keep growing.