I’ve watched porn—sometimes it’s exciting and hot and other times repetitive and boring. The first pornographic film I saw was when a group of us watched an entire gay film because of a rumor that someone we had gone to drama school with was one of the stars—he wasn’t.
The film took place at a construction site and kept my attention the entire time. I’ll never forget the scene of a good-sized penis popping through a knothole on an upper floor (was the actor suspended on some kind of boom-lift?) and without missing a beat, another actor going down on the disembodied penis.
My point is that regardless of the quality of the film, I appreciate my right to watch it if I see fit and that I don’t need to explain myself for doing so. But, at the time I felt that I needed an excuse.
For many years, watching porn wasn’t something that many women admitted to doing. Porn was for men and it was something you suffered through to help get your male partner aroused.
“Until recently, I could never admit to watching porn,” says Cass Ford, writer of the erotic novel, “Prince of Sin.” “In high school, my guy friends would openly discuss their favorite porn stars and scenes. Silently, I’d bite my lips, pretending I hadn’t curiously perused a risqué website just hours prior. There was plenty of shame surrounding women and sex and porn.”
Gradually, women started to admit that they watched it—especially when they were by themselves and wanted some masturbation inspiration.
However, there was a lot in regular porn that wasn’t appealing to many women—porn that was degrading, objectifying, and offensive. Of course, if that is what turns you on, that’s okay; it’s just that if it isn’t, that shouldn’t be your only choice. What women like needed to be included in the porn-equation.
In time, women started to discover that there was value in pornography. “Pornography is valuable for women in particular, because of the vastness and variety of our sexual potential has been tamped down for millennia,” says sex educator, Elle Chase. “This creates a vacuum in which women are shamed for expressing themselves in ways that society hasn’t deemed acceptable. We’ve been spoon-fed a trope about how women don’t enjoy sex as much, want sex as much as men do, and that we’re biologically programmed this way. We are socially discouraged to be vocal about our enjoyment of and desire to have sex.”
In an article for Vice, Sofia Barrett-Ibarria writes, “The social and political discourse surrounding the first wave of porn created by and for women eventually reached mainstream consumers and creators, inspiring cultural conversation in support of ethical porn, the importance of paying for porn, and the need for racial and gender diversity both in front of and behind the camera.”
Porn is evolving and starting to meet the needs of women through female porn. “Even as a soft, gentle aesthetic generalizes what women want out of a sexual experience, the appeal of friendlier, less seedy, feminist-oriented adult content can serve an entry point for many women exploring their sexuality and interest in porn—particularly those looking to avoid depictions of gratuitous violence or anonymized, identity-less sex,” Barrett-Ibarria writes.
Now that there’s feminist-friendly, and female porn, women are getting much more comfortable talking about and watching it.
8 Benefits of Female Porn
You can go at your own pace:
No one says you need to start with hardcore porn. Many women got turned on by the “Fifty Shades of Grey” books, so it was natural for them to watch the movies. Whatever stimulates you, is great. “Start out slow with non-visual porn,” suggests Adina Mahalli, a certified mental health consultant for Maple Holistics. “Non-visual porn is more like erotica and will be much less shocking and overwhelming for someone exploring their sexuality. There are many places where you can find audio porn that guides you through the masturbation process. I recommend exploring the world of NSFW subreddits, such as gonewildaudio, where you can find a wide variety of audio files in many categories.
Porn can increase your libido:
The more often you watch porn, the more you rev up your sex drive and the more you want sex. Sex is a major part of life and helps build intimacy with your partner. If your partner constantly wants sex and you don’t, watching porn may help to increase your desire.
Porn can keep you juiced up:
Watching porn and masturbating can keep the blood flowing and prevent you from getting sexually atrophied or frustrated. Female porn can help you to not put your sexual needs on hold and make sure that you’re ready to go when the opportunity for sex arises. Anything that encourages self-love is worth looking into.
Porn gives you a new perspective on your body:
When you watch female porn, it can help you to step outside of yourself and get some insights regarding your body. You become more cognizant about what your body is capable of and the assurance that no reaction your body has is wrong—it’s just you. If you’re a visual learner, then porn could be a beneficial sex tutorial. Now, of course, if the porn is highly unrealistic, use caution and be aware of what your body can and can’t do. Standing on your head while servicing someone orally might not be in your sexual wheelhouse.
Female Porn can inspire your imagination:
When you watch female porn, you have the opportunity to live vicariously through others—you can see people doing things you might not have even known existed. “Many women like to explore sexual fantasies and possibilities via porn,” says Carol Queen, author (with Shar Rednour) of “The Sex & Pleasure Book; Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex or Everyone.”. “[One can] check out kink, group sex, etc.—things that are easy to find in porn but not always immediately accessible in real life. (Also, people want to watch things that they don’t desire to do in real life.)
It can help you have deeper orgasms:
Due to our busy lives, we don’t always take enough time to get fully turned on before we have sex and the sex ends up being rushed and unsatisfying. Watching Female Porn gives you time to fully relax and aroused. By the time you actually have sex—you’re more than ready and are not only more likely to orgasm with a partner, but that orgasm will be deeper and longer-lasting.
Female Porn can inspire you to try new things:
Watching erotic entertainment can help take down walls and release the sexual animal you are. Porn allows for exploration without judgment—in fact, your inner kinkiness is encouraged to express itself. If things have gotten boring in the bedroom, porn can help spice things up.
Watching Female Porn can be empowering:
Seeing other women taking the initiative in sex and being dominant can make you feel commanding and like a sexual bad-ass. “Seeing women depicted as sexually interested, hungry, powerful, and it can be a strong remedial message in a culture that still doesn’t really show us as many images of that as some of us might wish,” says Carol Queen.
7 Female Porn Sites to Know
Erika Lust
According to the site, Erika Lust is an award-winning indie adult filmmaker who focuses on ethical pornography and sex-positive narratives. Women can access beautifully made, sex-positive films that were created with their own interests in mind.
Lady Cheeky
LadyCheeky.com aka Smut for Smarties. Consistently rated one of the best (if not the best) porn sites for women. The content is carefully curated by Lady Cheeky (aka Elle Chase) and is tailored to women. It’s both sex-positive and body-positive with its NSFW gifs, videos, and images. Lady Cheeky Tumblr is a visual feast and super-hot at the same time.
Tristan Taormino is a feminist author, speaker, sex educator, and pornographic film director. She has directed and produced over 25 adult films belonging to The Chemistry, The Expert-Guide, and The Rough Sex Series. Her films are fresh, personal, and she’s known for her direct approach to sex and pleasure.
Good Vibrations VOD
Good Vibrations known for their sex toys also has a separate movie site. They have a wide variety of porn types—lots of women-made, feminist, queer, and so on, and lots of mainstream porn too. Some examples include award-winning porn, holiday porn, interactive and 3D porn, and sex variations (which sounds intriguing.) Good Vibrations had been all about female pleasure for decades so they’re going to have something that appeals to you.
Bright Desire
BrightDesire bills itself as a different kind of porn—the new wave of smart porn. It’s sometimes called feminist porn, ethical porn, or just porn for women. Whatever you want to call it, it’s a celebration of sex. Bright Desire aims to move beyond the stale, tired porn of yesterday to something fresh, inclusive, and smart.
FrolicMe
If you want all your erotic stimuli in one place—FrolicMe is for you. They have beautifully done and explicit films and videos, sexually erotic stories, steamy audios, and extremely naughty photographic collections.
Pink & White Productions
From their website, “Pink & White Productions creates adult entertainment that exposes the complexities of queer sexual desire.” One of their most popular series is the feminist porn award-winning CrashPadSeries that features lesbian, queer men, femme on femme, boi, stud, genderqueer and trans-masculine performers, transwomen, and transmen all participating in real-life queer sexuality.
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No matter what your preference (even if you’re not sure what it is) there’s porn out there for you. Let it help you get in touch with your sexuality and free you from what’s holding you back from having the best sex of your life.